Making Buddy headbang to Nicki

Whiskey makes my bones shake,
And I’m having trouble typing.
‘Motivational’ wubs inspire poetry,
To be called great by idiots.

On this night,
I feel the dead gods in my blood,
Coursing like my .5% BAC.

There is no past,
On this night there is no compromise,
One more shot to remember the future.
A violence churns as I party alone.
A writer writes, infuriated by his subordinates.

He has no Medevac waiting for him,
Calling ‘Suppressing Fire!’ has no effect,
Except a stagger and a disorderly conduct.
Alone, this booze-fueled warrior, I, will fall.

Imagine the hangover?

I am what happens

I am what happens.
Whatever I’ve become,
And where I go, transforming,
I am a product.

Imperialistic in breathing,
I expect to end as all the greats do,
Invaded, perverted and in a puddle of vomit.

I am the Holy Roman Empire,
Something to fear, my very existence.
With existential crises crashing,
I can be… unpredictable.
A Caligula.

Angry, I will sleep.
Accosted, I will sleep.
Ashamed, I will sleep,

And maybe when I wake,
It’ll be worth it.

“Lot’s of self defeat in that one…”

Right?

A burn, a passion.

Circles, in fields of black and White Snake,

A symptom of being at a loss.

 

Screaming through my chest,

I shout until my throat hurts.

“It’s not going to get better, is it?”

 

I’m no Pierce Brosnan,

Barely a Roger Moore,

Definitely not a Danny Boy.

 

Searching for a sortie,

HPPD, here I come.

I don’t want to live to thirty,

But only the good die young.

Stop Hitting Yourself

“Stop hitting yourself,” the angel says,

“You look like a fool, fighting me.”

 

Knowing it is right, I step back,

Maintaining my defense,

“What would you have me do?

 

“Would you have me accept?

Give up fear and bear this load?

You ask too much,

And bring too little to this fight.”

 

Speaking to air, I think of relief.

To accept this darkness,

Would I breathe easy again?

 

I lessen my defense, asking,

“This path I am to walk,

Am I to walk it alone?

Or will another share my lust?”

 

It smiles, sweeping its six wings forward,

Blessing my sweating face with a breeze,

Speaking, “What good is a passion without a companion?

To what end will that lead? Perversion.

 

“Yes, you have this to bear,

But no man should bear this alone.

I don’t intend for you to be an exception.

 

“What a wonderful night to have a curse, child.

Quit looking the fool, wipe the dirt off your face

And let us get started.”

 

I holster my weapons, relieving reality,

As I face future with a fire in my heart,

Knowing I will not be alone.

Rest in Peace little fellow

I saw the sadness in his eyes, the sorrow of a winter that simply would not end. In the seconds I knew him, I hadn’t the time to learn his trials, his tribulations. I did, in an odd way, empathize though.

Maybe he had a family, a child screaming for his father. Maybe his family had not survived the brutality of suburban life during a harsh Pennsylvanian winter. Either way, I guess it didn’t matter at that point.

He was busy praying to his God or Gods, his ancestors or the spirits of his dead children. Even if I had the chance to ask him what drove him up there, I don’t think he would have answered. This fellow was far gone, and all I could do was speed up and hope he held off on his final leap of faith. Teetering above Route 134, he worked up the courage to end the cruelty of the life he had been born into.

In one bound, I realized I should have braked. In half a second, those deep, beady eyes of his were splattered across the hood of my mother’s van. In a breath, his misery was brought to an end by a Honda Odyssey.

I channeled Kurtz as this dear creature was cleared off by my windshield wipers, what horror! What would they say about him? That he was kind or wise? That he had plans? No, fuck that. Squirrels don’t leave notes, you idiot…

An oldie

During my forced slumber
I meet my dear.
Alone and afraid.

In the aftermath
I hold her in my arms,
On an end bound train.

She smiles,
Knowing she is mine,
As I am her’s.

Her red dress entices,
Her warmth welcomes me in,
The cold of this hell falls away.

The train screeches to a halt
At the ghastly demon gate,
Hungry, We look for a meal.

A search to no avail.
As the weeks pass,
Perfection peels and pales.

The gaunt face of my love,
That unfed life of mine,
It drives me mad.

The demons laugh as lives end,
As the platform is cleared of all.
I wipe away any traces.

From the wreckage,
The whorehouse of slaughter,
We feed.

I watch her live
As she feeds on the dead.
I eat only when she fills.

Once again my love, My sweetness,
She kisses me with chapped lips.
I taste the blood of our prey.

The metallic taste remains,
As we lie in cold red puddles.
She shivers, and i hold her close.

Alone, We eat as we need,
Keeping the Wendingo at bay.
Awaiting the next train.

Coagulated blood stinks,
The maggots infect our meat,
Still we continue to gnaw on bone.

Our solitude is broken by a beast,
What used to be a woman.
Feeding on our rotting prey.

She scowls at us that there is plenty.
We eat as she gorges.
Her belly fat with human meat.

Flesh is ripped from bone,
Skeletons are shredded,
As she devours innards.

I cast her a look of disdain,
Holding my love near.
We make eye contact, fear.

“Judge me if you will,”
The she-beast scowled.
“You’ve fed too, the Wendingo will be around.”

I smile as I pull my love towards the train,
“We fed to live,
You die to feed”

As the train departs into darkness
My alarm tears me away from my love
And my joy dies into the mundane

To E from P

Why do you sit upon my throne?
Brooding over a love forced, or on the consequences of your gift?
Come and be my brother,
your tribute was planned.

Look me in my eye,
I know your pain.
A god of fertility
With only a boar to ride.
It’s better than keeping up with birds!

Look around, Ing, and see your renown!
Your sickle is as mighty as my spear.
You are loved, and will be remembered.
Your mound will be blessed.
I’ll be proud to die alongside you.

My friend, I will wander
As I have always done.
You’re place is here.
As I am a warrior poet,
You are a beacon of hope.

I never thought a Vanir could be less vain.
Be proud! For you know who you are!
Be honored as the king you were!
Though we are not eternal,
Our names will live on.

Watch the Moon

Your Ghastly Heart,
Little remains of your face.
Your id has overcame,
And I don’t miss you.
Your beaten and bruised,
Soft, tender, sweet skin.
I don’t miss your ripped
Golden locks of silk.
I don’t miss your tearful,
Sweet, sickly sweet voice.
All that we went through is nothing,
And I no longer need that Graff Pink,
I’m content with an emerald,
Cut to perfection.

March Snow/Militant

A militant mind in a peaceful place,
It is a pity to waste such a scene.
With such a chaotic haste,
Watching the silence,
Hearing the still,
Knowing I was meant to kill.
My hand hurting,
Heart yearning
I lay my head to my chest.
I pray to god, so far above
‘Please give me some rest.”
Begging, pleading, I do not feel a change.
But I’m sure there is something he can arrange.
Pulpit seat bruising, I leave
Covered in painful sweat,
I walk in the cold,
Lighting my cigarette.

Bumpty Bump, My Life for you

Lilies, lilies everywhere, but not a rose in sight. It looks across the field of humans and sees not a single red angel. The lilies all are quite beautiful, and the stingers extend all around them, everywhere they walk, they are followed by the stingers. Too many stingers.

Its stinger follows, but not its cardiac muscle. It is looking for a rose. A single, beautiful rose.

            Years and years it looks for this rose, years and years it searches. It finds some tulips, and it mistakes them for roses in a moment of lust, then it will realize they are nothing but tulips.

            Every once in a while a tricky carnation will imitate a rose, and attract its cardiac muscle, but then it sees the red dye, and flies away. Carnations are trouble, they change color.

            The beauty of a rose is rarely found, and needs to be cherished when one is found. It looks more and more for one, and no matter how hard, nothing but the stinger is attracted.

            One day, while it was walking alone, ignoring most of the flowers, it notices something red out of the corner of its eye. Carefully, it looks at the red flower. This one looks like a rose. It really does.

            It gets closer and closer to the flower. It inspects it carefully, hoping to not find any dye, it doesn’t.

            It admires the beautiful rose, joyful that all its searching is finished and its hopes have been fulfilled. Then something moves. Something inside the flower moves. It watches its love intensely. Someone crawls out of the flower.

            This intruder flies over to it. He sniffs, and it sniffs back. He likes it. His pheromones are kind, and it begins to see him as a friend.

            We travel away together, away from the flower, but not before he lets the flower know he will soon return. It has a slight burning pain in its stinger.

            The flower smiles.

            We spend the day flying above the town. We observe the lilies, and it watches him turn away in disgust. It cannot blame him when he has a rose of his own. The pain in its stinger grows hotter.

            As the day draws to a close, we return to the flower. As we get close, it smells the love pheromones being released. It begins to feel sick.

            He goes back to his rose, and craws gently inside her. There he sleeps. It flies away with its stinger hurting.

            The next couple of days are spent with him and it. We become good friends, as long as she isn’t on either of our minds. As soon as she pops into his mind, it smells the love pheromones, and fights back the hate pheromones of its own.

            One day, he leaves to go gather honey, and it can hold back no longer from being around her. It walks around the rose gently. The rose notices it and smiles.

            An exchange of simple pheromones takes place, and it loves the rose more and more with every sniff. It slowly releases more and more complex pheromones, showing off to the rose. The rose laughs and smiles. Its cardiac muscle burns.

            It has fought back the urge for so long, it cannot go any longer without doing this. It releases the love pheromones to the rose. She smells. A look of concern crosses her face. She smells again. Her face becomes overcome with a look of shock, and it smells the apologetic pheromones.

            This is when he returns. He returns, releasing his love pheromones, which mix with its love pheromones, and her apologetic pheromones, to create a foul smell. His face changes from happy to furious immediately.

            The rose looks scared, and releases pheromones asking her lover to settle down, saying that it was a mistake. It releases its own apologetic pheromones, even though it feels it should not have to.

            He would not smell any of it, and it saw his stinger protrude out from his thorax. It was trying to be peaceful, and did not want to fight its friend.

            Then it smelt the love pheromones the flower released. These were intended for him, but it smelt them as a battle cry. It imagined its friend’s foul stinger rubbing against the rose night after night, and felt a burning flame overtake its stinger. Its cardiac muscle beat hard for both love and war.

            It pushed its stinger slowly out from its thorax at the same time as it released the war pheromones. The rose looked terrified.

            He lunged at it first. It dodged well. It had seen its fair share of fights. It spun around and was prepared to dodge the next attack. He charged at it again, and aimed to put his poison into its cardiac muscle.

            It maneuvered so perfectly that it was able to sink its stinger into him. He wiggled and fought to get free, and managed to rip out its stinger. He fell to the grass and writhed before curling up and dying.

            It was hurt and crying. It had killed its best friend and was doomed to die itself. It went to the only possible source of comfort it could find, the rose it had just murdered for. It couldn’t smell anything as it crawled near. It had probably already lost too much blood. Its cardiac muscle was having trouble beating.

            It crawled weakly up the stem of the rose. Halfway up, it felt a sharp pain in its abdomen, and fell to the ground with the rose’s thorn lodged into its cardiac muscle.

            A tear rolled down its face as it allowed its spirit to blow away.     Image